Stay on target
Let’s not beat around the kush. Recreational marijuana is legal in parts of the United States, not to mention the entire world. So we’re going to stop speaking in euphemisms. This April 20th, as is tradition, a lot of folks are going to get high. They’re going to use apps to find ways to get high. They’re going to read websites about getting high. They’re going to get high for medicinal reasons. And they’re going to explore new technology for getting high.
But after you put dank nugs in your body, you’re going to want to stuff some food in there, too. And thanks to the munchies magic of the internet, you don’t have to go outside and risk exposing your stoned corpse to the judgmental world just to grab a burrito. Here are the best food apps for your 4/20 holiday season.
Even if your favorite restaurant doesn’t technically offer delivery, with Postmates, you can hire somebody to go pick that food up and bring it to you. It’s an idea so great; it was probably conceived while high.
Stoned or not, Seamless (or Grubhub for you non-New York folks) is a great service for getting great food in your area delivered to you.
I’m at the Pizza Hut. I’m at the Taco Bell. Well, I’m only at the Pizza Hut with this app, but you get the joke.
Uber may be a gross, sexist, wholly unethical company, but they have a lot of cars on the road. And those cars can bring food to you. Decisions decisions.
There’s no shame in embodying a stoner stereotype. Use your phone to Think Outside the Bun ™ and maybe get married while you’re at it.
Not only is Chick-fil-a delicious but ordering it on 4/20 will probably anger the religious fundamentalist management that otherwise taints enjoyment for the food. Serves them right for being closed on Sunday!
Burger King isn’t above offering sex toys, so if it were legal to sell joints like french fries they’d probably do it. The King himself looks pretty blazed already.
Now that Chipotle has apparently stopped poisoning people, you can stop being paranoid. After you’re done with your burrito, maybe enjoy a little Farmed and Dangerous, the Reefer Madness of factory farming.
Can you imagine a better 4/20 companion than Mac Tonight? Of course, you can’t.
Soothe your burned throat with some cool, soft, delicious ice cream. This app can point you toward the nearest scoop.
Dunkin Donuts is no Donkin Donuts, but if you pretend real hard, it’s close enough. This app will help.
Channel your inner Harold and/or Kumar with the White Castle app. Maybe you’ll be an Associate Director of White House Public Engagement one day.
You may not be able to understand this app (or maybe you will once your 4/20 goes on long enough) but who doesn’t love staring at pictures of the Colonel’s fried chicken?